BORDER BATTLE

Last week was a great one for a lot of folks of the professional sports ilk. The Minnesota Twins swept the Chicago White Sox, temporarily tying them for second place in the AL Central. Dwight Smith was reunited with his Tampa Bay pal Mike Tomlin after signing with the Vikings. And the Brewers added another agile racing sausage to the stable for their classic seventh inning stretch entertainment. But no one had a week quite like A.J. Hawk.

The burly linebacker from Ohio State must’ve had plenty of bubbly around (or at least the champagne of beers) as he married his fiancee Laura Quinn and signed a 6-year, $37.5 million contract within a matter of days. Laura might even deserve the “Best Week Ever” title for that as the marriage — conducted in a Green Bay law office — was likely snuck in before that contract signature to assure she receive all of the great benefits that are available to NFL wives. But the fact that A.J. Hawk did not have to wait any extra days to get to camp and start hitting people is an intangible that should not be overlooked, and is thus the extra ingredient that solidifies his “Best Week Ever” status.

Marriage. Making millions. Hitting people. It doesn’t get any better for a linebacker.

After the first two games of the weekend’s Twins-Tigers series, the rampant excitement of Minnesota’s prospects for closing in on Detriot in the AL central had all but washed away. Eight innings into today’s game, you probably could’ve heard crickets chirping in certain parts of the Metrodome. But all that would soon change with the one ultra-convenient breakdown by Detriot’s Jeremy Bonderman.

To provide a bit of context around what the situation was pre-mental lapse, one would only need to look at the box score. Bonderman had allowed merely one hit through seven innings and the Tigers were up 3-0 after an uncharacteristically shaky 5 1/3 inning performance from Johan Santana. But somewhere in between the Twins coming back to the dugout and Justin Morneau walking to the plate in the bottom of the eighth, Lady Luck entered the building. With a quick spurt of hits and a series of fielding errors, the Twins were suddenly down only a run with the bases loaded. Then it happened. Jeremy Bonderman drew his hand away from his glove to signal something to the catcher, foolishly overlooking the fact that his feet were still planted on the rubber of the mound. That simple balk scored a run for the Twins, negated seven innings of commanding performance, and set the stage for some offensive fireworks. The damage by the end of the inning? Six runs and a battered ego. Twins win 6-4.

In the end the Twins may have pulled out only one win in a crucial three game series with the division leader, but given the way their pendulum may have swung if they had been swept, it’s one that the team and its faithful should be incredibly grateful for.

The Brewers weekend? Well, that new Chorizo guy debuting in the sausage races was pretty exciting stuff. I kid, I kid. They had a couple big wins against the Reds with some solid contributions from the guys acquired in the Carlos Lee trade.

Over the past few days, the Brewers added a new racing sausage, A.J. Hawk got hitched in a Green Bay law office, and the Twins left Ozzie speechless with a three-game sweep in the Windy City. But that’s all history now and tomorrow brings the beginning of one of our favorite times of the year (the diehard fan’s unofficial start of the NFL season): training camp.

It’s that time of the year where you waste away more time at work than usual reading about sports even though there aren’t even games being played yet, and trading season predictions with friends that are either brutally negative or “drinking the Kool-Aid.”

And the headlines will be more intriguing this year for us as fans, even though neither the Pack or Vikes will get much attention from the national media. Both teams have new head coaches, plenty of new blood, and a few positions that will be decided by heated battles. Packer players will ride to the field on childrens’ bikes. Vikings players will get arrested off the field. Favre is still around. Vikings fans still hate Favre. Packers fans will be optimistic about a turnaround. Vikings fans will foolishly think playoffs. And temperatures will rise until opening kickoff.

It’s all gonna be awesome.

Read carefully because while you probably won’t see this name here ever again, it deserves to be remembered.

Last week St. Paul Saints first baseman Brian “Buck” Buchanan had the performance of a lifetime. He only hit a team record 9 RBIs in the Saints’ 12-5 win over St. Joseph Thursday night, going 5-for-5 in the game, with three doubles (tied for a team record) and a home run. But he wasn’t finished there. The next two nights, Buchanan hit home runs as well, which also tied a team mark for consecutive games with home runs. Regardless of the level of play (we don’t even know what level the Northern League is considered) that is a pure hitting tear. And there couldn’t have been a guy that deserved it more — we found out via KFAN that Buchanan is a journeyman who spent years bouncing around minor and major league teams, including as a Right Fielder the Minnesota Twins, only to never fully catch on. Enjoy that moment in the sun, Mr. American Association Batter Of The Week.

The weekend’s almost here and we have just the medicine to get you through your drudging Thursday afternoon. No it’s not an ice cold ale, but it is a local sports links round-up!

• Apparently all the superstars throw themselves a public party when they land in Mpls. Now, for only $10 you can stand around in the same room as *drumroll*…Mike James!!!
• Thousands of stockholders descended upon Green Bay this week to see how their “investment” was doing. There were no dividends paid this year.
• If you’re frustrated by the Brewers’ inconsistent play, you can always harken back to what happened in a game on this day thirty years ago.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed an inordinate amount of people landing on this blog via Google searches for “Joe Mauer’s girlfriend,” “Chelsea Cooley” and “Joe Mauer Miss America.” While we had yet to come through with anything more substantial than a few best week ever mentions, we now have something of visual nature to share with you guys.

Thanks to Jamie Mottram at Mister Irrelevant/AOL’s Sports Bloggers Live, we bring you Ms. Joe Mauer.

Now that we’ve delivered the goods, please don’t neglect us. The sweetness will continue.

Over 90 games into the season and we’re in the dog days of baseball (as well as summer). Some superfans have not missed a game all season. To you we say get a life. But rather, congrats. You have either put up with a Brewers team that was once swept by the aweful Pittsburg Pirates, or a Twins crew who started the season 1-5.

Those of us from the western side of the St. Croix river are used to negativity. With a 51-40 record we still get upset. Any Brewer fan would rejoice with such an impressive feat. Rather, Minnesota fans know that with the outfield pieced together with guys like Jason Tyner, Nick Punto, and Michael Cuddyer, the good times can’t keep rolling. It’s nice now — we can see the starting outfield for when “Carl Pohlad Field” opens in 2010, but it’s not a starting outfield for 2006.

The Brew crew again toy with their fans’ emotions as usual, floating near .500 all season. The longest streak all year was four games. Followed by a 5 game skid. Can’t get too mad but can’t get excited either. Maybe there is one thing to get excited about, as star ace Ben Sheets returns Monday against the Pirates. One quality start every five games though? Not enough. With Carlos Lee and Torii Hunter soon becoming either a Yankee or a Met, we can look forward to football season right around the corner.

Ughhh! Should we?

Posted by The Mayor

Better late than never.

In a week where much of the only real sports activity was concentrated around a game that doesn’t matter much at all, at least one Minnesota Twin received his due justice: Francisco Liriano. After being snubbed by Ozzie Guillen and idiotic fans in the “Last Vote,” Mr. Liriano made it onto that AL All-Star roster. Sure he had to fly in at the last second from the Dominican Republic and didn’t even get out of the bullpen in the game. But the man at least got to be where he belonged.

We salute you Mr. Liriano. Now go out and keep pitching near perfection the rest of the season.